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Today was an exceptionally bright day. Whether this was because of the extra vitamin D I have begun taking, the beautiful British alternative rock and Baroque piano music that played all day, the fact that we neither of us tried to accomplish anything today, or just because our bones know spring is coming, I do not know. It was just a very good day, and my mind is agog over the thoughts that are about to pop into my head.

When we went to France and Italy for our honeymoon, we went to every cafe we could find that had those tables outside, right on the edge of the street. Therefore, I have forgotten the name of every single one. At one of them, for seven minutes I leaned over the back of my chair and spoke very bad French to a four year old boy. We debated what constitutes a Beautiful Day.  Apparently my interpretation has always been too broad. But today really was, honest.

I have been feeling very fond. I don't know if this is the effect of the great above listed conglomeration, or because I've been watching movies about family, or if I am really loving more. Thad has noticed. He says I am like a reverse aging cat, with my solemn superiority era passed and the cuddling kitten phase on the rise. Which just means he has improved at everything so I give less advice and I do more of the staring at his profile and giving squeezy hugs whenever we pass in the kitchen or hall. For all we've been hunting how to open our eyes wider, it always comes when we least expect it. I am seeing this week how precious and finite everyone I love is. I want to hold onto them a little bit tighter. So it makes it hard that we haven't seen any of you for such a long time.

I always say "I miss you" in the middle of a conversation, after spending a long time with my beloved ones. Tenses, what are they? I have missed you, I will miss you soon, I will miss you for ages and ages when you are gone, and the burden will be too much to bear because of the beauty of your soul.

Stay a little longer, my lovely ones. I haven't held you long enough.